Blog 1

So often I find myself scrolling through Instagram feeds mindlessly (and often subconsciously) caught between emotions. From one picture to the next, my emotions take a rollercoaster ride. Sometimes, I feel inspired, other times disappointed. Sometimes I feel self-pity while other times I feel courageous. It’s not a new concept that social media can wreak havoc on our emotional wellbeing but I’m curious to find out whether other women too can pinpoint their emotional state and know when it’s happening, what is making them potentially feel unsettled, or whether this usually daily operation takes a more subliminal and dangerous effect on their mental health than perhaps is realised. 

Before I jump into what would seem like yet another “social media is bad” blog, it’s important that you understand my blog is not about recounting again and again what we already know. It’s about helping you come to realise that the decisions you make every single day, like scrolling through Instagram of a morning (like me) can seriously jeopardise the life you’re trying to create for yourself. Let’s use a scenario; say you’ve made a new year’s resolution to quit eating Macdonald’s and you’ve been really strong and not even driven into a drive-through for over a month, then suddenly, a ‘Maccas’ employee (a complete stranger) walk’s up to you and offer’s you a bag of freshly made Big Mac’s, a large-fries and a McFlurry. Because you’re polite, you take the bag and smile at the stranger offering free handouts because you don’t want to seem ungrateful for the generous offer. Without you actually having to do anything (and through no fault of your own), you have now somehow ended up with a hefty helping of the one thing you were trying to avoid. Of-course the temptation to eat it far outweighs the willpower to avoid eating it (this is basic human nature, right?) so you chow down. In an instant, everything that you had been working so hard towards had disappeared, and as you sit there slurping away at the Mcflurry, you realise you now have to start back at square one and deprive yourself of ‘Maccas’ all-over-again. This scenario, albeit a little unrealistic (because let’s be honest, who would accept a bag of food from a stranger these days?) is absolutely no different to you consciously picking up your phone and scrolling through Instagram every morning, lunch, or night-time. What you see on Instagram (that might de-motivate you or leave you feeling worthless) is also no different to the unwarranted guilt that came from eating the Macdonald’s from the friendly stranger. Without realising it, you’re sabotaging your own emotional wellbeing by continuously comparing yourself to models, celebrities, socialites, and influencers (who, by the way, are also ALL strangers) because your life, your appearance or your wealth might not resemble anything like what you’re seeing on your phone screen every, single, day and that makes you miserable and feeling insignificant. 

Now I’m not here to bag social media, it obviously has it’s perks too particularly when it comes to marketing, sales and community awareness but I would be so brazen to suggest that the cons far outweigh the pros. 

In this ever-evolving world, we can’t just avoid it. So how do we stop ourselves from falling into this trap? We need to embrace it and utilise it but also be fully cognisant of the dangers it can possess towards us. 

The reason Instagramers are so successful is that they tap into our desire to search for perfection in our life because we think that perfection = happiness. I’m not really going to sit here and say that having every desire wouldn’t make you happy (it would make me pretty happy) but when we take that desire to an unrealistic and unhealthy level, we actually put ourselves farther from reaching that goal. Take our appearance, for example, the desire to want to feel and see perfection is actually buried deep in our genetics. Research suggests that babies smile longer at faces that are deemed to be attractive. That’s mind-blowing, isn’t it? Before we can even talk, opinions about appearances are formed. It’s no wonder people seem “so judgemental” because they actually are. As a species, we truly can’t help it. Instead of trying to constantly fight this (not so nice) aspect of our biology, we need to try to “manage” it. I took some of my own medicine this week, not because it was topical to this blog but because I realised that there were actual physical steps that I could take to change the way I feel every day. At first, I felt a little bit like I was saying goodbye to something very familiar like a family member or sentimental keepsake, but I quickly turned that emotion into triumph. It is a triumph because I decided to click on the “following” button on my Instagram account and painstakingly unfollow the myriad of models, celebrities, and even clothing labels sprouting endless marketing campaigns using exotic and overly attractive models. One by one, I unfollowed every single account which I knew was a core contributor to my unhappiness. These brands and faces that I had become so used to seeing of a day, now meant nothing to me as I quickly scrolled and clicked unfollow, scrolled, and clicked unfollow. In little time, I had managed to remove from my direct line of vision some of the many triggers of my unhappiness.  Later in the day when I picked up my phone to complete my usual ‘lunch-time Insta-scroll’, instead of being met with image after image of lanky, gorgeous (and happy) women, I was met with boring photos of lounge suites, new kitchens, fitness tips, healthy recipes, and skincare remedies. How boring yet relieving! I suddenly realised that Instagram IS boring and although a few lounge suites did grab my attention, I hardly wanted to waste time scrolling through Instagram to see them so I put my phone down and went and played with my daughter instead. I had managed to go an entire lunch-time without even looking at another lady or contemplate how vastly different my image is to hers. Now THAT is a triumph (and slightly medicinal), right?!

I urge you to give it a try. Unfollow every single account that makes you feel unhappy, worthless, and sad. Embrace life around you, instead of through your phone and you will quickly realise how soon you forget about those hundreds of models you have been following and how you have nothing to compare yourself to except, yourself! Now there is a person to be inspired by ;). 

If you are interested in the baby biology I mentioned, copy and paste the link below to your web browser to view the scholarly article:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2566458/

(Preference for attractive faces in human infants extends beyond conspecifics)